How to Be More Confident

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

The roots of low self-esteem often go back to the childhood. Our friends, teachers, parents, siblings, and the media too send us negative and positive messages about us. Negative messages, the idea that we are not good enough, tend to stay with us longer than any positive messages we receive.

Maybe you could not live up to the expectations of someone? If you were bullied as a child, then you may carry these feelings and shame for the rest of your life. It can make things worse if you don’t get support from your family or peers. Difficult events in life, like a bereavement or illness, and stress too can reduce our self-esteem. Sexual, emotional, or physical abuse can also lower self-esteem. It can become very difficult to trust people. Living with a low self-worth can lead to anxiety and depression.

Differences Between People with High and Low Self-Esteem

Here are some critical differences –

High Esteem	Low Esteem
Know what they believe and value	Experience self-criticism
Make decisions based on good judgments	They are often scared to make decisions
Are determined to succeed	Defensive and sensitive
Value healthy relationships	Have excessive desire to be accepted by others
Take care of themselves	Experience floating anxiety
Effective communication skills	Poor communication skills

10 Ways to Become More Self-Confident

You can certainly become more self-confident. Here are some of the best ways to improve your confidence and self-image:

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

We often compare our successes and even salaries with those of our friends. This invariably makes us sad as we can feel we haven’t achieved what we were supposed to and can also damage our self-belief and self-respect. Researchers in a 2018 study found a direct relationship between envy and the way we feel about ourselves. They discovered that we become jealous and feel bad about ourselves when we compare with others.

So, to build self-confidence, stop comparing yourself to others. Remember, you too may be better off than many others. Just focus on doing the best you can, given your circumstances. Life is not a competition.

2. Recognize What You're Good At

All of us are good at something. You can be good at singing, cooking, dancing, swimming, or at doing puzzles. Perhaps your analytical skills at work are excellent. We enjoy doing the things we are good at. So identify everything where you excel. Focus on them. This will improve your mood.

3. Increase Competence

Work on yourself. Think of going back to school for further education. You can also join a course online to improve your competence. Not only will this improve your chances of getting a better job that pays more, you will also feel better about yourself. Many industries are always changing, so a refresher course will help you stay relevant.

4. Take Care of Your Body

You cannot feel better about yourself if you abuse your body. This is why you must practice self-care. It will have a positive effect on your body, mind, and spirit. This can be one of the most important confidence boosters.

You can do so many things. Eat a healthy diet, exercise, play a sport, run, swim, meditate, and practice yoga. Look after your body. Watch your weight. Acne removal, dermal fillers and botox therapy may all help you look better.

Studies have consistently shown that physical exercise can boost self-esteem. For example, in a study carried out in 2016, researchers found that when the participants exercised regularly, it improved their body image, and subsequently they felt more confident. The results of this study are published in Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment.

5. Dress Nicely

You are going to feel more confident and happier when you dress nicely. You will also feel more presentable and successful. Others will view you like this as well, which will make you feel respected. This doesn’t mean you need to wear a costly outfit – even casual clothing may look nice if it is properly presented.

6. Speak Slowly

It is simple, but can cause a huge difference in the way others are going to perceive you. When you speak slowly, they may feel you are someone with authority. It shows that you are confident. So, change the way you speak, even if you are somewhat low in confidence. You will see a positive change.

7. Stand Tall

Like speaking slowly, you will feel more confident when you stand tall as well. Don’t just limit this to the standing position, also make sure that you sit upright and do not slouch. The way you speak, stand, sit, can all make a difference to the way people perceive you, which can have a direct effect on your self-confidence and self-esteem.

8. Smile

You are going to feel better instantly when you smile. And the best part – a smile can trigger a chain reaction. The others around you are going to feel more comfortable. Spread happiness and you will yourself feel happier.

9. Build Positive Relationships

Find positive people and spend more time around them. Those who appreciate you will help you build positivity. This will go a long way in helping you believe in yourself.

10. Get To Know Yourself

You yourself will be the enemy when you are trying to replace negative self-image with positivity. Sit back and reflect, introspect. Listen to your thoughts. Analyze whether they are rational. Write a journal, where you jot down every thought you have throughout the day. Find out why you are having these negative thoughts. Then, make it a point to replace them with positive thoughts.