Friendships and relationships are ever-present in life. However, the forms of those relationships and friendships—and particularly the terms that are used to describe them, or actions taken in relationships—are very definitely evolving fast.

This glossary will help you to stay abreast of the latest terms, and understand what’s being discussed, whether among your peers, teenagers, or on the internet.

Bae. A slang term for a romantic partner (possibly a development from the old-fashioned beau or the more recent boo).

Beige flag. A trait in a partner that is not necessarily good or bad, but causes you to stop and think. The term emerged from a trend on social media of sharing videos about partners’ unusual or quirky traits. See also: red flag.

Benching. The practice of keeping a potential partner available and interested through just enough contact, but without allowing the relationship to fully develop. A way to keep a ‘back-up’ option in case other relationships break down.

Booty call. A telephone call (or other communication e.g. a text message) arranging a sexual encounter. Often used in friends with benefits arrangements or for casual sex or hook-ups.

Breadcrumbing. Leading someone on via text messages and social media. The word comes from the trail of breadcrumbs left in the woods by Hansel and Gretel in the fairy tale. The idea is to leave just enough of a trail to keep someone interested, but without having to commit to a relationship.

Casual sex. Sexual experiences outside a committed relationship. Includes friends with benefits arrangements, hook-ups and one-night stands.

Dating app. A website, program or mobile phone application to allow you to meet new people for the purpose of dating. The first was kiss.com, launched in 1994, and closely followed by match.com in 1995. More recent apps such as Tinder were the origin of terms like ‘swipe right’ [or left] as a way to indicate feeling attraction to a potential ‘match’ (or rejecting them). There is more about these apps in our page on Dating and Dating Apps.

Friends with benefits. When you have a casual and occasional sexual relationship with a friend. Also abbreviated to fwb or FWB. The arrangement may be formal or informal, and may or may not be acknowledged. People in a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement are generally free to date other people, and don’t usually see themselves as committed to each other. However, the relationship may last a long time—unlike, say hooking up, which is usually a one-off occurrence.

Friend zone (or friendzone). A term used to describe a situation between two people when one of them would like to be in a romantic relationship, and the other would not. There is more about this in our page on Navigating the Friendzone.

Ghosting. Ceasing to communicate with someone without explaining why. Someone who is ghosted may find that they have been blocked on messaging apps and social media, and unfriended on social networking apps. Ghosting is particularly common after contact via a dating app, particularly if a first date was unsuccessful. However, it can also happen in a longer-term relationship or a friendship. Also known as icing and simmering, although these terms are less common. See also: zombie-ing.

Hooking up. A term with two possible meanings in relationships. The first is getting together for a casual sexual encounter, possibly as a result of a match on a dating app. The second is beginning a romantic relationship (“We hooked up a few weeks ago at a party, and the relationship’s really taken off since then.”).

Hook-up culture. A culture that encourages casual sex, including hooking up (as casual sex) and one-night stands. Often used to describe the culture on college or university campuses, especially in the US. However, a hook-up culture can exist among other groups or in other places.

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Ick. A feeling of disgust about someone or something. Often used about someone’s personal habits in the form of “That gives me the ick” meaning “That really puts me off [that person]”.

One-night stand. A single, one-off sexual encounter, usually with mutual agreement that it will not be repeated. See also: Hooking up.

Red flag. A warning sign that a relationship may not be healthy or suitable. Often used as a shorthand among friends, or on social media, to suggest that someone’s partner’s behaviour is potentially problematic. See also: beige flag.

Rizz. The ability to attract a romantic or sexual partner. Allegedly very similar to charm or charisma, but specifically relating to sexual relationships. The origin may be a short form of charisma, although this is not clear.

Sexting. Sending sexual text messages, which may include nude or suggestive photos.

Situationship. A term used to describe a romantic relationship that lacks some of the commitments or characteristics that are usually associated with romantic partnerships. For example, the couple might not be fully exclusive, or may not have discussed and agreed expectations around the relationship.

Spare tyre (back-up partner, standby lover). A friend or acquaintance viewed as a potential partner in the event of an existing romantic relationship breaking down. Platonic relationships with potential back-up partners are often maintained via social media. Similar to benching.

Sugar dating (sugaring). A quasi-romantic relationship involving one partner who is considerably more financially successful than the other, and is prepared to fund the other partner. The less financially successful partner may be younger or better looking, and expects to receive gifts from the other. The gift recipient is known as a sugar baby, with the richer partner being the sugar daddy or sugar mommy/mama.

Swinging. Engaging in group sex or partner-swapping within a group, often on a regular basis. Generally involves committed partners engaging in casual sex with others.

Threesome. A three-person sexual encounter, often one-off or casual sex.

Throuple. A three-way romantic relationship among three people, where each of the three is considered an equal partner.

Toxic friendship. A platonic relationship between two people where one of them is being emotionally or psychologically harmed, or taken advantage of. There is more about this in our page on Toxic Friendships.

Unicorn. Someone who is seeking a couple with whom to embark on a threesome or throuple. Unicorn hunters are a couple seeking a third person for a threesome or throuple.

Zombie-ing. When a person who ghosted someone re-enters their life as if nothing had happened.

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